We continue from the last article on EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EI).
‘What is Emotional Intelligence?’
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to be aware of one’s feelings and emotions and to respond from that awareness, rather than reacting.
But, how do we apply it? How do we use this tool for our benefit?
The answer to this question lies in the various techniques that can be employed to develop the muscle of EI with time and practice. Some of these are listed below, that will help you to manage your emotions and responses better:
- First step, become aware :
Observe. Observe. Observe! The most important step is to observe and be aware of your emotions. Suppose you are studying your paper and suddenly you come across the various ads of coaching centres. You slip into pondering that how many students would be preparing at the same time as you in these centres. This makes you anxious and you lose your focus from your paper-reading. Now, if you are on the way of becoming emotionally intelligent, you will become aware of your ‘anxiety’ and will start noticing what made you anxious (probably, the fear of competition!). This is how you can become aware of your emotions and then only you will be able to manage them.
Observe your actions, your behaviour! They have a lot of story for you to read and understand about yourself.
- Choose your behaviour the next time :
So, now when you know that you are anxious and you also know the reason behind it, you can choose your response the next time such anxiety strikes you. You can choose to calm your anxiety by understanding its inevitable nature. You can choose to remind yourself to focus on your preparation rather on that of others which is the reason for your anxiety. In this way, you can save on your time and energy which is crucial for your sound study.
The next time any bogging down emotion affects you; you identify it and choose to behave in contrary way that is productive for your preparation.
- Looking at the bigger picture :
Now this might sound idealistic, but to look from the perspective of the bigger picture can really help one to settle down his/her boiling emotions. For example, many a times while studying even a topper might experience an irrational urge to give up! But does she give up? NO! Because she
reminds herself of the reasons to take up CSE, she reminds herself that to achieve her goal she needs to keep going on! Sounds simple? But, this is how a larger vision, a bigger picture can help one to deal with the momentary impulses and channelize them to something constructive.
- Become aware of your strengths and weaknesses :
It is human nature to beat oneself on one’s weaknesses. An emotionally intelligent person will learn to manage his weaknesses so that they don’t become the cause of their perpetual stress and anxiety. To take an example, I am a kind of person who just cannot write fast. This is surely a weakness. For the longest time I’d beaten myself over why I can’t complete papers on time and how I cannot clear Mains because I cannot complete papers.
This was when I was unaware of my slow writing speed. I wasted so much of my time only worrying. But, gradually as I sought to understand my weakness and the many other strengths I have, my focus became balanced. I started working on my writing speed which eventually helped to gain confidence for writing mains.
So, know thyself and you can work much better!
- Emotional intelligence is directly proportional to your actions:
Taking from the above example, it is not enough to merely readjust your focus on your strengths, because the weaknesses will still persist and sooner or later they will stand in front of you again. Stress remains till the time your mind ruminates in your inaction.
Your emotional intelligence will automatically increase when you see yourself working beyond your weaknesses and anxieties. So, keep yourself in the loop action!
These were some of the ways to help you out in building a more absorbent cushion for your emotions and impulses to fall back on. Trust me! One thing that will make you sail through this examination and life is the muscle of Emotional Intelligence. So, try to self-introspect and self-analyse yourself in order to be a more self-aware individual. An aware individual can only create ripples of change in the society. Stop! Think and ACT!